Sonogram emotions

It seems like early Father's day was just yesterday. My "gift" was a positive pregnancy test Melissa had taken earlier in the day. "Ready or not, here we go again!" was about all I could think of. We knew this day would come, but it took us by surprise anyway.

Now, nearly 20 weeks later, we are preparing for the sonogram where we will "see" our new baby for the first time. I suppose it's completely normal, but there are so many feelings and emotions that come with this experience. There is the wonder of new life, the excitement and anxiety of the changes it will bring, the nervousness brought on by the unknown, and the sense of loss for the relationship I have with Isaiah that will forever be changed.

I feel bad because, while we were expecting Isaiah, it was about all we could think about. With this baby, I rarely think about what is happening. Instead, I am focused on the way Isaiah is growing and changing. I pray that I can find time to ponder the amazing thing that is happening inside Melissa right now. I know that I will not love this new child any less, but I regret that it will not have my undivided attention.